Chuck Versus PacMan
by michaelalanjones
Summary: This episode explores Chuck and Hannah's burgeoning love affair.


**Chuck Versus Pac-Man Episode**

Scene: Lou's Sandwich Shop

[Hannah is walking into Lou's Sandwich shop, in the mall. Lou looks at Hannah, and notices that she is wearing the Nerd Herd uniform.]

LOU:  
"Nerd Herd, eh? You know Chuck?"

HANNAH:  
"Yeah...why?"

LOU:  
"Oh, nothing. He fixed my phone."

HANNAH:  
"He's fixed a lotta things."

LOU _(checking Hannah out)_:  
"I bet."

HANNAH:  
"Well, I don't know what kind of sandwich to get him. I kinda wanted to surprise him."

LOU:  
"That's sweet....Well, lucky for you....I DO know what Chuck likes.."

HANNAH _(checking Lou out)_:  
"I bet."

LOU:  
"Chuck used to come here a lot." [Smiles, sheepishly.]

[Hannah glances up at the menu board, and notices that there is a sandwich called the "Chuck Bartowski".]

HANNAH_ (mutters to self)_:  
"I bet."

[Hannah approaches the register, to pay for the sandwich. Lou waves her hand.]

LOU:  
"Oh, don't worry about it....on the house. Tell Chuck I said 'Hi'."

HANNAH:  
"Okay, thanks."

[Hannah walks towards the door, to exit.]

LOU:  
"Hey, uh?"

HANNAH (stopping, spins to face Lou):  
"I'm... Hannah."

LOU:  
"Chuck is a really great guy. Don't hurt him."

[Hannah smiles, looks directly at Lou's eyes, then turns and exits Lou's sandwich shop.]

[Fade out.]

* * *

Scene: Orange Orange.

[Chuck is talking to Sarah, before she opens the store.]

CHUCK:  
"Sarah, what's it like when spies like Bryce go 'deep cover'?"

SARAH:  
"Just the way it sounds. I don't…really understand what you wanna know."

CHUCK:  
"I just…Well, I was thinking about it. Bryce went deep undercover. Surely, the first time he uses a credit card, surfs the Internet or makes a call, somebody will track him down."

SARAH:  
"I'll tell you what you need to know."

[SARAH DOES VOICEOVER, WHILE SCENE SWITCHES TO SHOW BRYCE LARKIN]

"You know, people survived for hundreds of years before credit cards, the Internet or cell phones. Basically, you go 'caveman'.

First of all, cash is king. Bryce will NEVER use a credit card..."

[Scene flashes to Large Mart. Bryce Larkin enters, gets the "Welcome to Large Mart!" greeting. Bryce picks up a small plastic basket, and sticks in a loaf of French bread, some apples, oranges, bananas, and a dozen prepaid Trac-Phones. As he passes women in the Large Mart, they all raise their head and stare. He smiles at them, and keeps walking. Bryce approaches the check-out lanes, and then places his items on the cashier belt.]

ELECTRONICS CASHIER:  
"Sir, do you know how to activate these phones?"

BRYCE:  
"Uh, yeah."

[Bryce pays the cashier with cash, and leaves the store.]

[Scene switches to Bryce sitting on the lanai of his hotel room, overlooking a park, drinking a coffee. On the table next to him is a pair of binoculars, a stack of Trac-phones, a brick and a hammer.

Bryce uses a pocket knife to cut open a Trac-Phone package and pulls the phone out of it. He enters some numbers into it, and talks on the phone.]

BRYCE _(Talking into the Trac-Phone)_:  
"I have acquired the item. Yes. It is in the Rotterdam Train station, in a locker. Yeah, the same locker, with the......Yeah. Okay. No, I will call you. I have been traveling. Okay. Auf Wiedersehen." [Click.]

[Bryce takes the Trac-Phone, lays it on the brick and pummels the phone with the hammer, smashing the screen and the keypad.]

SARAH VOICEOVER:  
"Deep cover spies live like homeless people. They live outside the realm of normal existence. They arrive with nothing and they leave with nothing."

[Scene switches to Bryce quietly exiting a hotel room, hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob. He looks left, then right, then enters a stairwell at the end of the hall. Scene switches back to the hotel room, where a female arm lifelessly falls off the edge of a bed.]

SARAH VOICEOVER:  
"Most spies are orphans, loners, no family, no friends, no pets, no lovers, no strings. They have nothing to lose, no reason whatsoever to turn around. Turning around will get you killed in this game."

[Scene switches back to Orange Orange, and Sarah's conversation with Chuck.]

SARAH:  
"You consider Bryce a friend, right?"

CHUCK:  
"I guess, but-"

SARAH _(interrupting)_:  
"Bryce is nobody's friend. He's not even MY friend. So, we were partners…so we were intimate.

He'd still kill me, in a second, if it was to his advantage, or if he was instructed to.

_[Pause]_

SARAH:  
You might have to kill me someday, Chuck."

CHUCK:  
"I could never do that."

[Sarah smiles.]

SARAH:  
"I hope it never comes to that. And I hope I never have to kill you, Chuck."

[Chuck's eyes open wide.]

[Fade out.]

* * *

Scene: The Castle

[Chuck is sitting at the operations desk, at a keyboard, looking at the screen, pointing to columns of data. Casey is amazed, smiling.]

CHUCK:  
"There you go. Now the CIA, FBI and NSA data all shows up in this one report."

CASEY:  
"That's great, Chuck. I requested a report like this a year or two ago, from Washington, and I'm still waiting for it. How do you do all that stuff?"

CHUCK:  
"It's a simple left outer join on three tables, easy sequel."

CASEY:  
"What's 'sequel'?"

CHUCK:  
"How can I explain 'sequel'?.... Let's say, you're waterboarding three terrorists, simultaneously, and 'sequel' Sarah is over there, writing down what ever they say, in three columns, on a sheet of paper."

CASEY _(in a low, maniacal voice)_:  
"Waterboarding...."

CHUCK:  
"That's what you learn at Stanford."

CASEY:  
"I'll send your bill to General Beckman."

[Sarah and Shaw come downstairs into the castle from Orange Orange.]

SHAW _(to Sarah)_:  
"So we are clear on that?"

SARAH _(to Shaw)_:  
"Crystal."

[Shaw, Sarah and Chuck are milling around, looking bored. Casey is sitting at a table, cleaning and assembling a Walther PPK handgun. Chuck looks at the handgun, and smiles, pointing at it.]

CHUCK:  
"Hey, that's a Walther PPK; it's the handgun of choice for--"

CASEY, SHAW, SARAH_ (IN UNISON)_:  
"James Bond."

CHUCK:  
"Yeah."

[Pause]

CHUCK:  
"I think I think I could do that – re-assemble that gun."

[Chuck flashes the schematics of the gun and easily reassembles the gun. Casey is somewhat impressed – grunts.]

CASEY:  
"I saw you flash - he flashed! Cheater! Huh. Now if you could just man up and shoot the damn thing."

[View switches to the large screen. General Beckman appears, looking distraught.]

GENERAL BECKMAN:  
"I have some sad news – some of your peers were absolutely annihilated in a battle with The Ring. Here is some surveillance video."

[A black and white video is displayed inside a window on the screen, showing billowing smoke, piles of dead agents and guns blazing.]

GENERAL BECKMAN:  
"These agents really suffered, and the agency is weaker because of it. You probably know some of the agents in the raid: Henderson, Rogers, and many others."

[Sarah, Shaw and Casey look at each other, concerned.]

GENERAL BECKMAN:  
"Be careful around Ring agents. They have some sort of advantage, and we really need to find out what it is."

CASEY _(MUTTERING QUIETLY)_:  
"Their advantage was too much CIA, and not enough NSA there."

GENERAL BECKMAN:  
"I heard that, Colonel Casey. There WERE NSA agents there. Only the Ring agents survived."

[Casey looks concerned.]

GENERAL BECKMAN:  
"There is not a lot on the radar for a few days. I suggest you all take a few days off."

[General Beckman's viewer screen shuts off.]

CASEY:  
"I could _USE_ some R and R."

CHUCK:  
"Great. I've been wanting to do some fun stuff with Hannah."

SARAH:  
"Like what?"

CHUCK:  
"Oh, just…stuff. I got a call from a buddy from Stanford; he wants to see me…uh…us."

[Sarah rolls her eyes.]

CASEY:  
"You still have friends at Stanford? Don't they all think you're a cheater?...... _cheater_."

CHUCK:  
"Ben was doing his internship in Europe when they kicked me out. He is my fraternity big brother; kinda like a mentor to me. Yeah. He made me do his homework."

SHAW:  
"Some mentor."

CHUCK:  
"Well, that's the way it is in fraternities. The new pledges get stuck doing all the grunt work."

CASEY:  
"Please don't start talking about paddling, or I'm gonna lose my lunch."

CHUCK:  
"So I…uh, WE will be driving up to 'The City By The Bay'. Don't worry, I'll wear my watch, and I'll keep my iPhone on."

SARAH:  
"Shaw, do you think we can risk Chuck driving six hours without protection?"

CASEY:  
"Better take some protection with you, Chuck. Heh, heh."

[Shaw smiles. Sarah glares at Casey.]

SHAW:  
"Hey, Chuck's earned a break."

[Shaw turns to face Chuck, and looks him right in the eye.]

SHAW:  
"Chuck, if you are ever going to be an agent, you need to know how to fire a weapon. Here…"

[Shaw hands the Walther PPK to Chuck. Chuck fumbles with the gun, nearly dropping it.]

CASEY _(to Chuck)_:  
"Whoa, hey, be careful!"

SHAW:  
"This is YOUR gun now, Chuck. Casey, take Chuck out to the firing range, and show him how to use it."

[Chuck looks frantic. Casey reaches for the gun, then retracts.]

CASEY_ (MUTTERING QUIETLY)_:  
"But. that's. _MY_. gun. Oh, well."

CHUCK:  
"Can't I just have a taser or something?"

SARAH:  
"Chuck, secret agents don't use tasers; they use guns."

CASEY:  
"Mall cops use tasers."

SHAW _(TO SARAH)_:  
"Ok, then. Sarah, what are you going to do?"

SARAH:  
"Oh, just watch some TV or something.... Read. What about you?"

SHAW:  
"Probably the same."

CASEY:  
"I have a date."

[Everyone looks up, shocked.]

CASEY:  
"Stopppp it! I can _DATE_!" (pauses) No, it is a date with my paintball gun, the PB-2300. The annual Iowa Paintball Rally is on this weekend. I, uh, usually win."

[Casey grabs an elaborate paint-splotched rifle from the gun rack. He aims the gun at Chuck, and a laser-sight red dot appears on Chuck's forehead.]

CASEY:  
"Chuck, let's get this over with."

CHUCK _(NERVOUS)_:  
"What?"

CASEY:  
"Going to the firing range. I have a plane to catch."

[Shaw walks upstairs. Chuck walks over to Sarah.]

CHUCK_ (TO SARAH)_:  
"So you are cool with me going out of town for a few days, with Hannah?"

SARAH:  
"We were only dating for a cover story, Chuck… You knew that."

CHUCK:  
"Yeah, cover story..."

[Casey grabs several handguns from the gun rack, and walks upstairs.]

CASEY _(YELLING DOWN THE STAIRS)_:  
"Let's go Chuck, while we're young!"

CHUCK _(TO SARAH)_:  
"Goodbye, Sarah."

[Chuck playfully plucks Sarah on the elbow. Sarah smiles.]

SARAH _(TO CHUCK)_:  
"Bye, Chuck."

[Chuck walks upstairs. Sarah walks over to the other side of the room, and starts to cry. Shaw creeps around the corner at the top of the stairs, and sees Sarah crying, shakes his head, then leaves.]

[Fade out.]

* * *

Scene: Nerd Herd counter, at Buy More.

[Morgan, Hannah, Jeff, Lester and Chuck are standing around the counter, around 8:00 AM.]

MORGAN:  
"Hannah, you must be special – Chuck NEVER takes off work. He needs that twelve bucks an hour."

CHUCK _(FACES HANNAH)_:  
"She _IS_ special."

[Hannah smiles.]

HANNAH:  
"Are you ready?"

JEFF:  
"I'm ready."

HANNAH:  
"I was talking to Chuck."

MORGAN:  
"Now, Chuck, you're sure you don't want me to come with you? I've never been to San Francisco."

CHUCK:  
"Yes, I'm sure, Morgan. Besides, it's a six-hour drive. You get car-sick after fifty miles."

JEFF:  
"I went to Haight-Ashbury once. Good times."

MORGAN:  
"Don't worry, Chuck, I'll check in on Ellie, to make sure she is safe."

CHUCK _(SARCASTICALLY)_:  
"Ye-ah. She'll appreciate that."

LESTER:  
"In your stead, Charles, I will assume the role of Nerd Herd supervisor."

CHUCK:  
"Good to know. Uh, why are we still here?"

[Chuck motions for Hannah to walk to the door. Chuck puts his hand on Hannah's shoulder blades, stroking them affectionately. They both walk out to the parking lot, to a white convertible Mustang.]

CHUCK:  
"This will be fun. Driving a convertible, from southern California to northern California."

HANNAH:  
"Well, I just hope she makes it. 'Claire' has over one hundred thousand of your 'EARTH' miles on her."

[Chuck climbs into the passenger seat. Hannah glances at the 'Orange Orange'; Sarah is staring at them, through the window. Hannah waves at Sarah, unbeknownst to Chuck.]

HANNAH:  
"Chuck, it is a long trip. Don't you want to grab a frozen yogurt for the trip?"

CHUCK:  
"Survey says:……OOOONNNNTTTT!" [CHUCK MAKES LOUD BUZZING SOUND – Chuck is emulating the familiar 'Family Feud' line.]

[The Mustang roars to life, with a touch of blue smoke, and Hannah peels out of the parking lot, as Sarah looks on.

Moments later, Casey emerges from the Orange Orange back room, dressed in camouflage, splotched with multi-color dots, with a paint gun hanging from his shoulder, and a clear bucket of red-color paintballs.]

SARAH:  
"Red balls, eh?"

CASEY:  
"Yeah, so I won't be reminded that it's…… only a game."

SARAH:  
"You're going to board a plane dressed like that?"

CASEY:  
"Like what?"

[Casey walks outside, and gets into a taxi, that was waiting.]

[Fade out.]

* * *

Scene: Hannah's Mustang, driving north on Highway 5, on a sunny day, around 11:00 AM.

[Hannah is driving. Chuck is telling a story, gesturing wildly, and both are smiling, laughing. The camera focuses on a Mustang logo mounted to the dash. As the camera zooms in, one can see a tiny black dot where the Mustang horse's eye would be.

Scene flashes to the Castle, where Sarah is watching Chuck and Hannah on a monitor. Sarah's eyes are puffy.]

[Fade out.]

* * *

Scene: Hannah's Mustang, driving through a wealthy neighborhood, around 1:00 in the afternoon.

[Chuck is driving. Hannah is peering at a map on her iPhone, stretching the map out, to zoom in. A blue dot is approaching a red dot on the display.]

CHUCK:  
"Wow. Nice neighborhood."

HANNAH:  
"True dat! I think it's up on the left."

[As they round a bend, Chuck sees an enormous mansion, with fifty-feet-tall columns. Chuck's jaw drops. Hannah's jaw drops. The mailbox says: "Stevens". A shiny white Mercedes is parked in front of the house.]

CHUCK:  
"Hannah, this is the humble abode of Benjamin Stevens, my fraternity big brother."

HANNAH:  
"I was a GDI."

[They exit the Mustang. The driveway is long and curved. As they are walking, they see many squirrels scurrying about the trees. Chuck notices one squirrel in particular. This squirrel is piling nuts inside a twig frame square.]

CHUCK:  
"Hannah.... Is that squirrel staring at me?"

HANNAH:  
"Are you...... _CRAZY_?"

CHUCK:  
"Not, uh, no."

[As Chuck and Hannah approach the house, they see a dog looking out the picture window. It is a white Bedlington Terrier, (which looks like a flattened poodle). Chuck rings the doorbell, and hears, "It's open!" from within. They enter the house.

Benjamin Stevens walks up, and gives Chuck the 'secret handshake'.]

BENJAMIN:  
"You still remember the secret handshake, eh, Chas?"

HANNAH:  
"Chas? And me, without a squash racket! You must be Ben."

CHUCK:  
"Ben. Lose the 'Chas'. It's 'Chuck'".

BENJAMIN:  
"I kid. Chuck, who is this beautiful person?"

[Hannah smiles.]

CHUCK:  
"Ben, this is Hannah, my, uh, girlfriend."

BENJAMIN _(to Chuck)_:  
"Dude, MUCH hotter than Jill."

CHUCK:  
"Yeah, well, Bryce took Jill."

HANNAH:  
"Who's Jill?"

BENJAMIN:  
"Yeah, I heard about that. Do you ever speak to Bryce?"

CHUCK:  
"Bryce is uh, dead. Killed in a, uh, bank robbery. Long story."

BENJAMIN:  
"Bummer. Well, hey, you want a beer? I have a few kegs on tap."

CHUCK:  
"Ha! Sure. Just like the old frat house. Except a lot cleaner."

BENJAMIN:  
"Hannah? Beer?"

HANNAH:  
"Diet Coke, if you have it. Ben, what's your pup's name?"

BENJAMIN:  
"Skippy. Uh, he likes peanut butter."

[Benjamin opens the door, and lets Skippy out.]

BENJAMIN:  
"Skippy, go get the papers."

[Chuck looks out the front door side windows, watching Skippy. Skippy gets one paper, and then gets the other paper, and carries both back in his mouth, at the same time.

Skippy drops the papers, then picks up the Wall Street Journal, and gives it to Benjamin with his mouth, then picks up the USA Today, and gives it to Chuck.]

CHUCK:  
"Skippy doesn't think I would read the Wall Street Journal. Huh."

[Pause]

[Ben hands Chuck a beer in a glass and a can of Diet Coke to Hannah.]

CHUCK:  
"So Ben, wassup? How's life been treating you... um, dumb question."

BEN:  
"Well, I got a PhD in Molecular Chemistry, and recently patented a brain stabilizer, called 'Beneuro'."

CHUCK:  
"A wha-?"

BEN:  
"It's like a de-frag for your brain. I have a nephew with Autism. Autistic people's brains are like puzzles. This drug puts the puzzle pieces back together. "

HANNAH:  
"That's so sweet."

BEN:  
"Yeah, and it pays the bills…a little."

[Chuck and Hannah glance around the room, noticing how fabulous it is.]

CHUCK:  
"So you named the drug after yourself."

BEN:  
"No... It's Latin, remember Latin? - _'bene'_ for good, plus _'neuro'_ for nerve."

CHUCK:  
"So, it makes you better, like the large dots on Pac-Man."

BEN:  
"I just can't help but wonder how the drug would work on normal people."

CHUCK:  
"That would probably be illegal."

[Ben stares at Chuck's beer glass, near empty.]

[Ben gives Chuck and Hannah a tour of the mansion, and the backyard.]

CHUCK _(discretely, to Hannah)_:  
"Gosh, Ben is only a few years older than me, and look at all he has done with his life, and I'm still living in Buy-moria."

HANNAH _(to Chuck)_:  
"Chuck, you're fine. If you were anything else, I would have never met you. And I'm really glad I met you."

[Chuck smiles. Suddenly, Chuck flashes pictures of chemical formulas, and agents shooting at each other. The flash is different this time; instead of chaotic images, flashing out of sequence, the data streams in like a PowerPoint presentation, smoothly, and clearly. Chuck's face flushes; turns red.]

CHUCK:  
"I feel cold."

HANNAH:  
"Chuck? Are you okay? Your face is red. Are you sick?"

BEN:  
"Chuck? Chuck, what's going on?"

CHUCK _(disoriented)_:  
"Maybe we should leave. Thanks for the tour, Ben."

[Chuck and Hannah walk to Hannah's car, and get in; Hannah gets into the driver's seat.]

HANNAH _(to Chuck)_:  
"I better drive, Chuck."

BEN (looking at the Mustang):  
"Is _THIS_ your car, Chuck?"

CHUCK:  
"Ben, I don't have a car."

BEN _(embarrassed)_:  
"Okay, um, then, see you sometime."

HANNAH:  
"It was nice meeting you, Ben. Chuck's probably just tired. We drove six hours to get here."

[Hannah and Chuck drive away. Ben's cellphone rings; he answers it.]

BEN _(to caller)_:  
"I tried Beneuro on a human subject."

[Ben listens to caller. Caller screams unintelligibly; Ben moves phone away from his ear.]

BEN:  
"Look, he left, okay? I dunno. I think they're going to see Alcatraz."

[Caller hangs up.]

Fade out.

* * *

Scene: [Montage of Chuck and Hannah visiting tourist traps in San Francisco, including the Ghirardelli Chocolate Factory, driving the Mustang down Lombardo Street, AKA _"the most crooked street in the world"_, walking through the fish market on Fisherman's Wharf, driving across the Golden Gate Bridge.]

* * *

Scene: A cable car, going up a steep hill, in San Francisco.

[Chuck and Hannah are riding on the back of the cable car, enjoying the ride. Chuck points at a sign on the back of the cable car, that says: "Rice-a-Roni, The San Francisco Treat", and rubs his belly, indicating that he is hungry.

They exit the cable car at the Fisherman's Wharf, and sit down at Boudin's Bakery. Chuck orders two sourdough bread bowls of clam chowder. Hannah excuses herself to go to the restroom.

Chuck uses this as an opportunity to call Sarah, and dials her number.]

SARAH _(answering)_:  
"Chuck, are you okay? Why did your face turn red?"

CHUCK:  
"Sarah, I flashed - I might know how those Ring agents got the advantage. My fraternity big brother invented a drug, called 'Beneuro'; his name is Benjamin Stevens. The drug is kinda like a Pac-Man pill-"

SARAH (interrupting):  
"A wha-?"

CHUCK:  
"It's like a brain vitamin. Makes your brain better."

SARAH:  
"You didn't take any of these vitamins, did you?"

CHUCK:  
"No."

SARAH:  
"Did you ingest anything while you were there?"

CHUCK:  
"I had a beer."

SARAH:  
"Chuck, agents often use alcohol to mask drugs. Did you-"

CHUCK:  
"Oh, crap! Hannah's coming - Gotta go! Call you later."

HANNAH _(returning to table, sees Chuck hanging up his phone)_:  
"Who was that?"

CHUCK:  
"Oh, the Nerd Herders, again. Let's eat!"

[Fade out.]

* * *

Scene: The Castle

[Sarah is at the console. She watches the video again, of the surveillance, which is in black and white. She types a few keys on the keyboard, and the video replays, but now it is playing in color.

Sarah notices the Ring agents all have dramatically red faces, like bad sunburns. She grabs a few guns, and her car keys from the counter, walks upstairs and out to her Porsche.]

Fade out.

* * *

Scene: Highway 5, in Sarah's Porsche, driving north.

[Sarah is driving 90 miles an hour on Highway 5. She pushes the Bluetooth button on her dash, and the Bluetooth wireless device asks for a command.]

WIRELESS DEVICE:  
"Say a command…"

SARAH:  
"Call California State Police."

WIRELESS DEVICE:  
"...dialing..."

[Pause]

WIRELESS DEVICE _(broadcasting female operator's voice, on speaker phone)_:  
"You have reached the California State Police, do you have an emergency?"

SARAH:  
"My name is Sarah Walker; I am a federal agent. I am driving a black Porsche Boxter, California plate number YTH-9423, north on Highway 5. I am traveling at a very high rate of speed. Instruct all officers to disregard this vehicle."

WIRELESS DEVICE _(broadcasting female operator's voice, on speaker phone)_:  
"Yes, ma'am. You go, girl!"

[Sarah grins, punches the accelerator, and the Porsche zooms to 160 MPH. She passes a California State Trooper that has pulled a Nerd Herd car over, and is handing the driver a ticket. Trooper waves at Sarah. Driver points finger at Porsche, complaining.]

NERD HERD DRIVER _(to California State Trooper)_:  
"Hey what about that guy?"

[Fade out.]

_______________

Scene: Ferry for Alcatraz Island.

[Hannah and Chuck are disembarking, and walking on the island. As they walk, Chuck describes the various parts of the island, in great detail. Scene flashes to the other side of the island, where a Coast Guard cruiser boat is landing. Sarah jumps onto the beach, and cruiser boat speeds away.]

HANNAH:  
"This place is cool. Chuck, how do you know so much about San Francisco?"

CHUCK:  
"Wiki-whut? Wiki-who? I'm a walkin' Wikipedia!"

[Pause]

CHUCK:  
"No.....actually, I went to band camp there, in high school. I was a band-nerd."

HANNAH:  
"I was in band, too!"

[Chuck smiles.]

SARAH _(listening in on Chuck's watch bug, quietly, to self)_:  
"_I_ was in band."

[By now, there is an entourage of tourists, walking along with Chuck, asking him questions; he is answering them completely, to the delight of everyone. People are applauding Chuck.]

TOURIST _(referring to Chuck):_  
"That guy should be on Jeopardy!"

The manager of the facility walks up to Chuck, and looks him right in the eye.]

ALCATRAZ MANAGER (to Chuck):  
"There is something we need to talk about."

CHUCK _(nervous)_:  
"What? Who are you with?"

ALCATRAZ MANAGER _(to Chuck)_:  
"I'm the manager here. We could really use a guy like you. I haven't seen this level of excitement here at Alcatraz for…, well, gosh, never! How would you like to work here on the island?"

CHUCK:  
"What's something like that _pay_?"

ALCATRAZ MANAGER _(to Chuck)_:  
"Well, let me write a figure down, for you and the little lady to think about."

[The manager pulls a pad of neon pink post-it notes out of his pocket, and scribbles on it, then hands a post-it note to Chuck. Chuck's eyes light up.]

CHUCK:  
"Wow, that's a lot of numbers."

[Chuck shows the figure to Hannah. She gets excited.]

CHUCK _(to Alcatraz manager):  
_"We're just tourists, see? I, uh, we live in Burbank."

ALCATRAZ MANAGER _(to Chuck)_:  
"Well, give it some thought. If you are interested, we can pay for re-location, temporary accommodations. Think about it. We'd love to have you."

[Alcatraz manager's cordless phone rings, and he walks back to his office. Waves to Chuck, Hannah, smiles.]

HANNAH:  
"Chuck, that's a lotta money; a lot more than you make at Buy More."

CHUCK:  
"Wonder how much that is an hour? Let's see, divide that number by 2080 hours, mental math, carry the-- You're right, that is a LOT more than I make at Buy More."

HANNAH:  
"Chuck, would you leave Burbank, your family and friends, for this job?"

[Sarah, listening in on the watch bug, perks up.]

SARAH _(to self):  
_"Would you, Chuck?"

CHUCK _(to Hannah)_:  
"Yeah, but..._YOU_ live in Burbank, too."

HANNAH _(to Chuck)_:  
"Chuck, I only moved to Burbank because of you."

[Scene flashes back and forth between Sarah identifying threatening individuals, kicking their butts, and Chuck showing Hannah around the island. Chuck and Hannah have no idea that they are in constant danger, and that Sarah is neutralizing the threats as they arise.

In one hallway, Sarah comes within inches of being seen by Chuck and Hannah, but ducks behind a doorway. Hannah has a puzzled look. She thinks she can smell Sarah's perfume.]

HANNAH _(mutters to self)_:  
"There is something going on here; what is it? I feel like Sarah is here."

[Chuck hears the last sentence.]

CHUCK (to Hannah):  
"What? Sarah? Hannah, Sarah is six hours away. Look, Sarah and I are over. There is no future in that relationship."

[Sarah hears this, and sobs, for a second. Then she yanks a throwing knife from her leg holster and throws it at a bad guy. He falls over the edge of a cliff. Sarah lifts her iPhone to her head, calling Casey.]

SARAH _(to Casey on her iPhone)_:  
"Casey, are you busy?"

[Casey is crouched in a dirt trench, in a forest scene, smoking a cigar. The 'plunk' sound of paintball guns is heard, many times.]

CASEY _(to Sarah, on his cell phone)_:  
"Busy killin' bad guys."

SARAH:  
"Yeah, me too."

CASEY _(concerned)_:  
"For real? Where are you? Where is the asset?"

SARAH:  
"We are both in San Francisco. On Alcatraz Island."

CASEY _(to Sarah, on his cell phone)_:  
"Are you injured?"

SARAH:  
"No, these guys aren't that tough. Not _Ring_, as far as I know. I don't know who they are. But they are trying to get to Chuck. Look, I really just need for you to call in a cleanup on the island. There are a lot of bodies laying around here, and this IS a family place."

CASEY _(to Sarah, on his cell phone)_:  
"I'll clean it myself. I will be there in an hour – I'll fly."

SARAH:  
"Thank you, Casey. I am trying not to disturb Chuck on his date. He is unaware of my position."

CASEY _(to self)_:  
"Damn; and I was winning this thing."

[Casey climbs out of the trench, and is instantly pummeled with hundreds of multi-colored balls of paint. Unfazed, he walks over to his car and drives away.]

[Fade out.]

________________

Scene: The castle.

[Shaw dials a number on his phone. It is Sarah; she answers it.]

SARAH:  
"Hi, Shaw."

SHAW:  
"Sarah, where are you?"

SARAH:  
"Reading a book, at my place."

SHAW _(rolling his eyes)_:  
"Look, we need to talk; I will be over in twenty minutes."

SARAH _(nervous)_:  
"Can't this wait? I am pretty tired." [Sarah fakes a yawn.]

SHAW:  
"Sarah, stop lying - I'm at the castle. I can see your phone blip. Why are you in San Francisco? Are you stalking Chuck?"

SARAH:  
"Chuck is in danger. There are several people trying to get to him."

SHAW:  
"Did you kill them all?"

SARAH:  
Well, there are, I think, two more guys."

SHAW:  
"Okay, take one out. Only one."

SARAH:  
"But-"

SHAW:  
"Sarah, Chuck wants to be a spy. A spy's life is dangerous - let Chuck experience some danger. Do this. You know I am right."

[Click! - Shaw hangs up.]

SARAH _(watching Chuck kiss Hannah, says to self)_:  
"I don't think Chuck wants to be a spy anymore."

[Sarah studies each bad guy, trying to determine which one would be easier for Chuck to handle. Finally, she kicks the tougher guy's ass.]

SARAH _(to self)_:  
"Good luck, Chuck."

[Casey is now on Alcatraz Island. He looks around for Sarah, and Chuck. He stares at Sarah, through binoculars, as he calls her over his watch communicator.]

CASEY _(to Sarah, on his watch):_  
"You have been crying."

SARAH _(to Casey, on her watch)_:  
"What? Where the f- What's your twenty?"

CASEY:  
"I'm on your ten-o-clock."

[Sarah looks slightly to the left, and sees Casey. He cocks his gun, and takes aim at the bad guy.]

CASEY:  
"Thanks for leaving one for _me_."

SARAH:  
"Casey, don't take the shot."

CASEY:  
"I've got a silencer on, it's okay."

SARAH:  
"Casey, Shaw said to leave one bad guy for Chuck to handle."

CASEY:  
"What? Shaw's coming, too? Ah, shoulda known you would invite your boyfriend out too. I shoulda brought hot wings!"

[Casey holsters his weapon.]

SARAH:  
"Shaw is _**not**_ my boyfriend."

CASEY:  
"Ha. Could'a fooled me."

SARAH:  
"Shaw's not coming – he sat-tracked me here and called me; I apprised him of the situation at hand, and he gave the order; said: 'Let Chuck take care of that guy'."

CASEY:  
"You cherry-picked that guy, didn't you? You beat up all the tough guys and left the wimp for Chuck. [pause] Well, if I can't kill anybody, I guess I will get a mop and start cleaning the place up."

[Casey sees Chuck kissing Hannah near the prison recreation yard.]

CASEY _(to self)_:  
"Way to go, Bar-tow-ski! Who would YOU like to be stranded on an island with?"

SARAH _(choking back the tears)_:  
"I can hear you, Casey."

CASEY _(mischieviously)_:  
"I know."

SARAH _(anxious)_:  
"Casey, shut it! It is going down, _now_!"

[Sarah and Casey watch the bad guy approach Hannah and Chuck. The stranger looks at a photograph, and then at Chuck, then approaches the pair.]

BAD GUY _(to Chuck)_:  
"I need you to come with me."

HANNAH _(fearful, tugging on Chuck's arm, to Chuck)_:  
"Let's go back to the ferry, Chuck."

[Chuck and Hannah walk towards the ferry area. The bad guy runs up and grabs Hannah, and pulls her to him; he puts a gun to her head.]

BAD GUY:  
"I said you're coming with me, or the girl gets a bullet!"

[Casey raises his gun, cocks and aims.]

SARAH _(to Casey, on her watch)_:  
"Do not take that shot, Casey!"

CASEY _(mutters to self)_:  
"Dammit! Do something, Chuck! _**Man up!**_"

[Chuck gets nervous; flashes martial arts training. His face turns red, as he watches a crystal-clear training video, in fast forward. Sarah sees his red face, and recognizes it from the Ring surveillance video.

Chuck leaps into action, flipping and flying, knocks the bad guy down.]

CASEY _(to self)_:  
"Finish him, Chuck. End him."

[The bad guy reaches into his pants pocket, and retrieves a small rubbery capsule. He opens his mouth to pop it in, stops, thinks about it, and then nibbles off the end of the capsule, and sucks the colored gel out of the capsule.

Several seconds go by. Now, the bad guy's face is red. He comes back with a vengeance and starts to beat Chuck down. Chuck fears for his life. Nothing Chuck does seems to be effective. It is as if the bad guy can feel no pain. Hannah screams.

Chuck flashes again, and this time, the images he sees represent kill moves. He sees an opportunity, and sends a powerful roundhouse kick to the bad guy's brain stem. The bad guy falls lifeless, like a rag doll, to the ground. Hannah's mouth drops.]

CASEY _(to self)_:  
"First kill, Chuck. And a worthy opponent. Man!"

HANNAH:  
"Oh, my God, Chuck! How did you do that?"

CHUCK _(with phony Chinese accent)_:  
"I know….Kung-Fu. He should not have. Entered. The. Dragon."

HANNAH:  
"I _LOVE_ that movie."

CASEY _(to self)_:  
"Me, too."

SARAH _(to self)_:  
"Me, too."

CHUCK _(grinning)_:  
"Ohhhh, yeah."

[Casey looks at Sarah with binoculars. He can see that she's really crying now. He speaks to her over his watch.]

CASEY _(to Sarah)_:  
"Sarah."

[Sarah doesn't answer.]

CASEY:  
"Sarah!"

SARAH _(sob-talking)_:  
"Yeah."

CASEY:  
"I was wrong. Huh! I thought you were falling for Shaw. You're in love with the **_ASSET_**."

[pauses]

CASEY:  
"Okay, let's clean this mess up. The love-birds are gettin' on the ferry."

[pauses]

CASEY:  
"Sarah, this situation is bad. This will not end well…..for you."

SARAH:  
"I know………bye." [Click.]

[Chuck and Hannah board the ferry, and as they do, Chuck has a funny feeling. He turns around to see Sarah and Casey dragging a body.]

CHUCK _(silently, to self)_:  
"What the -?"

[Fade out.]

___________________

Scene: Chuck's apartment.

[Chuck and Hannah are standing outside the front door, kissing.]

HANNAH:  
"Thank you for a wonderful day, Chuck."

CHUCK:  
"Back at ya. Oh, hey, I have your car keys."

[Chuck reaches into his pocket to pull out Hannah's car keys and his iPhone falls to the ground.]

CHUCK:  
"Ahh!"

HANNAH _(reaching for the iPhone and keys on the floor)_:  
"I got it."

[When Hannah picks up Chuck's iPhone, she touches the screen and it glows to life. Hannah looks at the screen, and up pops his call log. It says:

**Today - Dialed Numbers  
**_________________  
9:30 AM Sarah  
11:05AM Sarah  
12:14 PM Sarah  
1:48 PM Sarah  
2:59 PM Sarah  
_________________

HANNAH _(shocked, confused, looking at Chuck's call log)_:  
"Chuck, I feel like I can never trust you. You are like some kind of professional liar. You should probably call Sarah, AGAIN, and tell her that you are available. Don't call me!"

[Hannah storms out, in a rage, and drives away.]

CHUCK _(to self)_:  
That's what spies do…they lie. Agent Montgomery was right. First rule of spies: Never fall in love."

SARAH _(from behind the bushes, near the door)_:  
"That's probably the best advice that you will hear."

CHUCK _(startled, but not surprised that Sarah was there)_:  
"Sarah, what am I gonna do?"

SARAH _(emerging, coming into view)_:  
"I don't know, Chuck.

[Fade out. End]


End file.
